Saturday, May 27, 2006 @ 8:44 AM

the moment i found out that history repeated itself the frustration disappointment anguish heartache despair was awful. i cried my heart out. i just couldn't find a single reason to forgive myself there and then. all i wanted to do was wallow in self-pity. i felt sick and tired of having get through the timeless struggles of emotions and regret. i could only resign to the hopeless side of me. i really wished i didn't ever have to wake up facing reality that is like a nightmare far too rough.

that was then. now i realise that all of it is nothing more than a test a drive. no way am i gonna let this F9 take control of me. it's about time i got exposed to the meaning of failure. i knew i wasn't that good but i ceased to do something about it before. this is gonna shake me into the right mind and make me strive to do even better. at least this mistake taught me hard. it forced me to understand that i have to work for what i want.

reality is so much more than what i pictured it to be. i want to be strong enough for the future. there's so much in life worth this determination. there's actually a perfect situation in part of my life. the fantastic family and the irreplaceable friends that i just couldn't cherish more.

nothing tastes as sweet .